My Past Haunting Me

Weird coincidences have been happening since August last year when I made the decision to make everything reality that I once visualised in my mind. I felt that in this way I can make peace between my heart and my mind, which were in conflict most of my life.

Then weird coincidences start happening on a weekly basis, sometimes more than once per week. And for me, repetitive coincidences are not merely chance.

The most awkward one was in February when I visualised that I should go to the grocery shop at 1:00am, but at the same time was feeling lazy. However, some force was pushing me, reminding me that I promised to make real anything that crossed my mind.

Once I got to the till, I told to myself to apologise to the cashier. I used to bully her when I was around 12 (I’m now 38). I still remember one time she started crying, and it made me feel so uncomfortable because I was not enjoying bullying her. I did it because I was bullied by many people myself, and I assume  I wanted to feel how is to be on the other side and be the bully.

This happened in Romania where I grew up while I was on holiday that week. I live in England currently. I still refuse to accept it was merely chance. How did I feel an urge in the middle of the night to go to a grocery shop, unaware who works there, and then demanding myself to apologise to someone I hurt over 25 years ago?