At 19, I was navigating the chaos of what I now recognize as a spiritual awakening. It felt like a baptism by fire—songs seemed to narrate my life, 3 a.m. wake-ups were the norm, and improbable events became a daily occurrence. When I tried to talk about it, people didn’t understand, so I stopped. Isolation and confusion took over, leaving me certain something was wrong with me.
It was beautiful yet unbearably painful. I wasn’t suicidal, but I felt a deep sense of readiness—like I was being purified, guided toward something. At times, though, it felt like I was a rat in an experiment, as if life was mimicking The Truman Show.
After two years of this internal tug-of-war, something shifted. One sunny day, I was relaxing in my mother’s lush yard, enjoying the warmth and serenity. A playful thought crossed my mind: I’d never found a four-leaf clover before. Determined, I decided to give it a serious try.
Just as I was about to search, an intuitive, playful voice within urged me to close my eyes and let my fingers choose. Obeying the impulse, I reached out blindly and plucked the first clover I touched. When I opened my eyes, there it was—a perfect four-leaf clover in my hand.
In that moment, everything changed. I realized I wasn’t just a passive subject of life’s mysteries; I was an active participant, a collaborator in the unfolding magic around me.
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